The Wicked Witch Is Dead
by coffeeandcupcakes
Summary: When the TARDIS breaks down and the Doctor makes a wrong turn, he and Rose end up on a familiar planet. With no other way home but to find the Wizard of Oz, Rose and Ten must join forces with the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Lion to find him.
1. The Witch and the Scarecrow

**The Wicked Witch is Dead**

so, this was originally going to be a super long one shot, but in the end i was too impatient and  
>i decided to just make it a three-parter. i've got two parts written and one to go. if that's too<br>long i'll make it four. but yeah. this was inspirated by a TTU prompt about a billion years ago,  
>this one here: http:i41(dot)tinypic(dot)com/jjtmrn(dot)jpg - and i've been slowly writing it ever since.  
>i'd really appreciate your feedback on this one, i think it may be my best yet. but anyway - enjoy!<p>

* * *

><p>"Where <em>are <em>we going? Doctor? Doctor!"

"Oh, for God's sake, you really are like a five year old sometimes, Rose. All impatient and whatnot. I told you - I need a part for the TARDIS and we're going to get it."

Rose rolls her eyes. "I swear sometimes she's falling apart."

The Doctor narrows his eyes at her, but Rose knows it's all playful. "Oi! She isn't falling apart at all. She just needs some love and care sometimes," he says, and almost dances around the console, flicking switches, pulling levers and hitting the console with a mallet. "Behave!" he says to the TARDIS, and the lights flicker on and off for a moment - the TARDIS' way of saying she doesn't like to be hit, especially with a mallet, thank you very much.

"Love and care, eh? Try and stop abusing her," Rose chides, stroking the console. The TARDIS glows for a moment before coming to an abrupt stop. The Doctor is thrown backwards, hitting his head off the grated floor, but Rose remains upright. She laughs at him, but goes to give him a hand up anyway.

"That's what you get for hittin' her," she says, pulling him to his feet. "Are we here?"

The Doctor nods as he taps out a samba on the console. "Yep," he says, popping the 'p'. "We're here. Outside those doors, Rose Tyler … well, I won't tell you. See for yourself."

"Is this suitable for … wherever we are?"

The Doctor looks Rose up and down, taking in her hair in two messy pigtails, blue gingham shirt, demin mini skirt, and red flip flops. He did tell her to dress for warm weather, after all. "Perfect. Go."

Rose beams, and runs towards the doors, her shoes making a flapping sound as they hit against the floor. She turns back towards him - still looking as adorable as a five-year-old - and peeks her head out the door, and steps out.

Everything is in colour so bright that it physically hurts Rose's eyes to look directly at it. Big bright flowers are blooming everywhere, and there are buildings about the Doctor's height dotted around the outside. The flowers that are planted everywhere are nearly as tall as the buildings, and there is a little stream running through the centre of it, adorned with giant green lily pads. She walks over the bridge - faintly aware of the Doctor quietly exiting the TARDIS behind her - and she finds a golden yellow and blood red brick road, starting in the centre and leading out in a swirl, before separating and heading off in opposite directions. Rose gasps and turns back to the Doctor.

"Where are we?"

The Doctor is squinting, almost blinded. "I don't know.'"

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"This doesn't seem like the place to get parts. I think we've made a bit of a wrong turn somewhere … " the Doctor trails off, looking around his new surroundings.

Rose's eyes widen in surprise, and she points off in the distance where something is sparkling. "Is that - Doctor, is that a giant _bubble_?"

He turns to where Rose's finger is pointing, and true enough, a giant bubble is floating towards them. The bubble suddenly pops, and standing there is a woman with a giant pink gown, sparkling in the light, and a jewel crown, and is holding what looked to be some sort of spear, only it has a star on the end where the blade should have been. She is blonde, and is taller than Rose by about four inches. She doesn't seem to acknowledge the Doctor, and walks straight to Rose.

"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" the woman asks, her voice sweet but insistent.

"I'm sorry - witch? Me?" Rose points to herself, looking herself up and down. "I'm not a witch! I'm a human, from Earth. Um, Rose Tyler, ma'am. And this is the Doctor." Rose points to the Doctor, but the woman eyes' never leave Rose's.

"Is he the witch?"

Rose bursts out laughing, and the Doctor chuckles, before seeing that the woman is in fact, deadly serious. "Um, no. This is the Doctor. He's my … he's my friend. We're not witches. We're just travellers, passing through."

The woman frowns, and then smiles as if she has no clue what is going on. "Well, I'm a little muddled! The Munchkins called me, you see, because a new witch has just dropped a blue box on the Wicked Witch of the East! And there you see, is the blue box, and there you are, and that's all that's left of the Wicked Witch of the East!"

The woman is pointing over the TARDIS, and sure enough, there are two stripy legs stuck out from underneath the ship, ruby slippers attached and all.

The Doctor nearly chokes. "Oh, I'm so sorry, that - that shouldn't have happened. Um, no, that wasn't meant to happen. That's never happened before. Oh dear."

Rose puts a hand to her head. The Doctor is still looking, horror-struck, at the TARDIS.

"So the Munchkins want to know, dearie," the woman continues, a sweet smile on her face, "Is whether you are a good witch, or a bad witch?"

Rose sighs. "I've told you before, lady, I'm no witch. Do I look like an old hag to you? No warts or hooked noses 'round here, thank you very much!"

There is a high-pitched giggle, and Rose spins around automatically, but it had stopped as soon as it started. "What on Earth was that?" Rose asks, the woman smiles again.

"The Munchkins, of course," she says. "They are laughing, because, well, I am a witch. I am Glinda, the Witch of the North."

Rose looks Glinda up and down. She doesn't look like any witch Rose had ever seen. She looked more like Katie Price on her wedding day, only a lot less trashy. Maybe that's the look she'd been going for? Rose realises the woman is looking at her strangely, and the Doctor coughs. She's being rude.

"Oh, sorry - you're a witch? I'm very sorry - about the old hag stuff and that," Rose says sheepishly.

"It's okay, my dear. Only bad witches are ugly, you know. The Munchkins are happy, because you have freed them for the Wicked Witch of the East."

At this, the Doctor coughs again. Glinda looks at him for the first time. "I'm sorry - they are happy she's dead?"

Glinda looks shocked. "But of course. She's not the _Wicked_ Witch of the East for nothing," she says, and turns back to Rose. "You are in Munchkin Land, and you are their national heroine, my dear. It's all right, you can all come out and thank her," she says, directing her last bit to apparent thin air.

"It was my ship! How come you get to be their national heroine? Surely I'm the one that should be the national hero! Sexism, that's what it is," the Doctor said, only slightly joking. Rose elbowed him in the stomach, laughing, as one by one small people begin to emerge from the trees, the bushes, the houses, and even one came out the drain.

They all began to thank her, one by one, some offering gifts. Rose declines them all with a smile, and the Doctor just stands beside her, struggling to laugh as she gets cornered by Munchkins. She holds his hand for dear life, and drags him around the place as Glinda drags her. Even a Munchkin in golden adorned robes - possibly the President, or maybe the Mayor - comes out and personally congratulates her.

This goes on and on for ages, with seemingly every Munchkin in the land wanting to shake her hand and give her their personal thanks.

Out of nowhere there is another bubble, slowly coming towards them, only this one isn't sparkling - it's pitch black in colour, and when it bursts, a cloud of orange smoke appears. The Munchkins scream, and some lie flat on the ground, some scramble back to where they came from; Rose's hold on the Doctor's hand tightens, unnevered by the Munchkin's high-pitched screaming.

The woman that appears from the cloud of smoke is more like the witches Rose's remembers from the stories she'd read as a child. With a green face, hooked nose, warts, and black robe with matching pointed hat and a broomstick, it is almost so cliché that Rose might have laughed if she wasn't just a little bit freaked out by this whole entire turn of events.

The woman looks around wildly for a moment, before eyeing the TARDIS and heads straight for it. The Doctor steps forward, about to fight for his ship, before he realises that the woman isn't interested in the TARDIS - only about what's trapped underneath it.

Rose turns to Glinda. "Excuse me, G-Glinda was it? I thought you said she was dead?"

"Oh, that was her sister," Glinda says, with a nonchalant wave of her hand. "This is the Wicked Witch of the West. And she's worse than the other one!"

Rose squeezes the Doctor's hand a little bit tighter.

The Wicked Witch of the West turns around at their voices, loathing in her eyes. She walks straight for them, and Doctor stands in front of Rose protectively.

"Who killed my sister?" she hisses, sliding over to her. "Who killed her? Was it you?"

Rose shakes her head rapidly. "No, it was an accident, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kill anyone!"

The Wicked Witch of the West narrowed her eyes at her. "Well, my little pretty, I can cause accidents too!" She sneers, and raises her arms; and the Doctor slides in front of her a little bit more, and removes the sonic screwdriver from his pocket.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Glinda chimes in, her voice still sweet despite the situation. "The ruby slippers, perhaps?"

West's eyes light up, her hands still poised in the air and she smiles, although it is more like a grimace. "The slippers! Yes! Of course … " she says, and turns back around the her dead sister, who is wearing a pair of glittery red shoes. "The slippers!"

Rose watches as West walks over to the TARDIS, and just as she is reaching down for the slippers, they disappear without a trace, the feet curling in on themselves and disappearing under the TARDIS.

West starts screaming before the feet have even vanished. "The ruby slippers! Glinda, what have you done with them? They are mine!" She is nearly hysterical as she stalks back over the three.

"It's too late!" Glinda says, still smiling, and she points her spear - or maybe it's a wand? - at Rose's feet, where sure enough, where there was once red flip-flops there are now a pair of red, sparkly, high heeled shoes. "There they are, and there they shall stay."

"What the - how the hell did they get there?" Rose asks, gazing down at her feet.

West clearly isn't happy. "Give them to me, Blondie, you don't know how to use them, they are of no use to you!" There is an edge of pleading in her voice that wasn't there beforehand. She's desperate.

Glinda scowls, and turns to Rose. "You keep tight inside of them, my dear. Their magic is very powerful, and she cannot get a hold of it." Rose nods, looking down once more at her glittery feet. She makes a promise to herself - West must not get her hands on these shoes, no matter what, and Rose will not let her. She looks up at the Doctor, who is looking at West, observing everything that has been going on. Rose wondered how much he was longing to go and touch everything and lick stuff.

West's frown deepened, and a sneer made it's way onto her face. "Stay out of this, Glinda, or I'll sort you out as well!"

Glinda almost snorts. "Pfft. You have no power here. Now, be gone, before someone drops a blue box on you, too." She waves her hand with an almost haughty look on her face.

West looks around, as if there is a box just waiting to land her on. She turns back to Glinda and sneers. "Fine. But I'll bide my time, so I will. I'll bide my time. Those slippers, they will be mine! Oh yes, I'll get you, my pretty little blondie, and your little man, too!"

West walked back slowly, laughing madly all the way, and disappears in a puff of fire and smoke. Glinda smiles, and laughs, and tells the Munchkins they can get up now, for the Wicked Witch is gone.

"God, smell that sulphur," the Doctor says, waving a hand in front of him nose, before he turns to Rose. "Are you okay?" he asks, looking in her the eye, and she nods.

"Yeah," she breathes, looking around. "But I think we best get out of here."

The Doctor nods, and runs to the TARDIS as Rose says her goodbyes to Glinda. He comes out a second later, white as a sheet, and runs a hand down his face.

"We can't leave."

Rose starts. "What do you mean? Is it because we're part of events again?"

The Doctor shakes his head. "The part we were coming for? It was kind of important. Without it, she can't materialise. Landing on such a rough terrain - a person and that - must have broken it entirely. We can't leave until we get that part."

Glinda, who had been following their conversation with interest, coughs lightly. "What part are you looking for?" she asks, her face kind.

"Um - a materialization aerodynamic booster," the Doctor says automatically, and he frowns. "Can you get us the part?"

Glinda laughs, her laugh like a tinkle of piano keys, light and airy. "Oh, no dear, I cannot get you them. But I don't see why the Wizard cannot get you the parts you need to return home. But I do know this - you have made a grave enemy of the Wicked Witch, my dear. The sooner you get yourselves both out of Oz, the safer you both shall be."

The Doctor nods. "Is he good, or is he like that one, with the smoke and the sulpher and stuff? Because that was nasty," he says, and Rose just rolls her eyes. Rude again.

"Oh, no, he's very good, but he's very mysterious. But he lives in Emerald City, my dears, and it's quite a journey from here. Did you bring your broomsticks with you?" she inquires, and Rose almost bursts out laughing again before realising, once again, that Glinda is quite serious.

The Doctor bites his lip, and Rose can tell he's about to laugh, too. "No," he says, shaking his head. "I'm afraid we don't. Harry Potter stole them. Again. Something about needing them for Quidditch. Really should go get them back, actually, but y'know what he's like, eh, Rose?" he continues, and Rose just rolls her eyes once more. Glinda is looking at them as if they are talking seriously.

"Oh, my dears, then you will have to walk. Just follow the Yellow Brick road, and remember, do not let those ruby slippers off your feet for a moment!" Glinda says, and in the half-second it takes Rose to blink, she is back in her shiny bubble again, flying off.

"I think that's their version of a TARDIS," the Doctor quips from beside her, and Rose giggles.

"Maybe," she agrees, and then casts her eyes back to the road. "She said to follow the yellow brick road. I think we better if we ever wanna get away from here," Rose says.

"So we just follow that road?" the Doctor asks, moving over and inspecting the road. "It's just yellow brick," he says, and almost jumps when a Munchkin appears next to him.

"Just follow the yellow brick road," he squeaks, pointing. The Doctor sighs, and extends his hand to Rose, and together, they start off on their journey to Emerald City.

* * *

><p>"This is the weirdest day ever," Rose says, not unhappily, as she walks along the brick road - still yellow - with her hand still tightly intertwined with the Doctor's.<p>

"I'll give you that," he says, rubbing his ear with his free hand, "but the sooner I the part for the TARDIS and get us both out of here, the better I'll be. I've got a funny feeling about this place."

"Yeah. Not to mention a crazy witch has taken a sudden disliking to me," Rose says, but the slight smile she's wearing turns to a frown as they reach a crossroads in the road. "Which way do we go? Straight on?"

The Doctor frowns. "I don't know," he says honestly, looking down all three possible routes. They were all identical.

"That way is a very nice way to go."

The Doctor spins around. "What did you say, Rose?" he asks, but is met with a bemused look on the face of his companion.

"I didn't say that! I thought you did," Rose said, her eyes wide, whipping her head around trying to determine the source of the voice.

"It's a pleasant way down that way, too."

Rose starts shaking her head. "Now it's just getting spooky."

The Doctor, however, seems preoccupied by a field - or a scarecrow in the field. "Rose, wasn't that scarecrow pointing in the other direction?"

Rose walks over and stands beside him, looking at the normal scarecrow, looking as though it could have been in any field on Earth. Rose shakes her head. "I didn't pay attention," she says honestly. "But even so - scarecrows can't talk, can they, Doctor?"

He turns to look at her. "Nothing really would surprise me about this place, Rose," the Doctor says, retraining his eyes on the scarecrow.

"Of course, people do go both ways!" the scarecrow says, much to the Doctor and Rose's alarm, and spins his arms so they are pointing in opposite directions.

"Did you just talk?" Rose asks, taking a step forward, aware of the Doctor's hand still in hers, preventing her from going to far.

The scarecrow nods, then shakes his head.

Rose turns back to look at the Doctor, then turns back to the scarecrow. "Are you doing that on purpose, or can't you make up your mind?" she asks.

The Scarecrow sighs. "That's the problem, see, I don't have a mind - a brain. I only have straw," he says, leaning forward and doffing his hat, to show a head of straw.

Rose frowns. "Well, how can you talk if you haven't got a brain?" she asks, genuinely wondering.

The Scarecrow looked stumped at Rose's question. "I - I don't know!" he confesses, and then seems to smile. "But some people without any brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?" he asks her, and Rose laughs, accepting the fact that this Scarecrow only doesn't have a brain, but he can talk, too.

"I guess you're right," she says, smiling. She lets go of the Doctor's hand and clambers over the gate towards to the Scarecrow - and she knows the Doctor is right behind her. "We haven't introduced ourselves, have we?" she says, and the Scarecrow thinks for a moment before shaking his head.

"Why, no!" he says, and smiles. "How do you do?"

"I'm Rose, Rose Tyler," Rose says, gesturing to herself, "and this is the Doctor. We're okay, thank you. How are you?" she asks pleasantly, thankful that this Scarecrow doesn't seem to be nasty, like the Wicked Witch of the West.

"Oh, I'm not well at all," the Scarecrow says, sounding sorrowful. "You see, Rose, it's very tedious being stuck up here all day with a pole sticking up your back."

"Oh, that must be well uncomfortable," Rose says, sympathetically. "But - can't you get down?"

The Scarecrow laughs. "Down? Well, there's - just right there, there's a - " he gestures to his back, where there is a giant nail holding in the pole.

The Doctor is pointing towards it, and pulled it, so the Scarecrow goes tumbling to the ground.

"Oh, that's very kind of you, Sir," Scarecrow says, as he falls, and laughs as he spots some hay lying around that had fallen out during his rough landing. "There goes some of me again!" he says, laughing as Rose has a shocked look on her face.

"Doesn't it hurt, though?" Rose asks, watching as he scoops it up.

"Oh, no, I just keep stuffing it back in again!" he says, laughing once more. He walks a few steps, taking in the scenery, and then promptly falls over the short fence.

"Are you alright?" Rose asks, a little worried, as she kneels down beside him.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine," he says, before he takes in Rose's worried expression. "Did I scare you?"

Rose shakes her head rapidly. "Oh, no, I was just worried, that's all. Thought you had hurt yourself."

Scarecrow almost seemed to frown. "But I didn't scare you?"

"Um, no, sorry."

"I didn't think so," Scarecrow says, sighing. He looks disappointed. A crow flies over, and perched itself on Scarecrow's head, and he sighs again. "Boo! Scat! Go away! Away with you!" he says, each attempt more pitiful than the last, and it was only when Scarecrow turns to Rose that the crow flies away.

"See!" he says, pointing after the bird, "I can't even scare a crow!"

Rose sighs, and helps him to his feet unsteadily, the Doctor helping with his other arm. As they walk down the yellow brick road, Scarecrow tells them how his life would be so different if only he had a brain. Eventually, Rose's arms become tired from holding him up and she lets go momentarily, only for Scarecrow to go tumbling back down to - well, not Earth.

"Don't be silly," Rose says, as they continued their conversation from earlier about Scarecrow's lack of scaring abilities, "If our scarecrows back in London were like you, we wouldn't have any crows at all! They'd all be scared off!"

"Really?" Scarecrow asks, as Rose nods. "Where's London?"

"It's where I live, usually," Rose says, smiling. "But right now I'm a traveller, and we need a part for our ship. We're travelling all the way to Emerald City to ask the Wizard for the part we need," Rose continues, gesturing to the Doctor and herself.

"You're - you're going to see a wizard?" Scarecrow says, amazed. "_The Wizard?"_

Rose nods.

"Do - do you," Scarecrow says, looking slightly apprehensive, "think that if I went, the Wizard would give me some brains?"

Rose seems puzzled for a moment. "I don't see why not," she says, after a while, "But look at it this way - even if he doesn't, you wouldn't be any worse off than you are now, would you?"

"Oh, I guess that's true," Scarecrow says, before looking over at the perch he's just vacated. "Oh, no, I couldn't, I have my field to watch over!" He shakes his head, sighing.

Rose sighs, too. "It might be best you don't. I have this evil witch after me, and you might get on the wrong side of her if you make friends with us."

Scarecrow's eyes widen. "A witch? I'm not afraid of a witch!" he says, as though scandalised Rose should think such a thing. "I'm not afraid of anything!" He pauses, looking down at himself, and beckoned Rose and the Doctor - who by now was on the floor beside Rose - closer and pointing to his hay sticking out of his stomach. "Nothing expect a lighted match," he amends, and Rose giggles.

"I don't blame you for that one," she says, as she nods.

Scarecrow sighs. "Well, Rose, I'd face a whole boxful of matches, just for the chance to get some brains!" He clambers up to his knees, a pleading look appearing on his face that melts Rose's heart. "Listen, Rose, I wouldn't be no trouble, because I don't need a thing! I don't have the brains for it! Please, Rose, won't you take me with you?"

Rose sighs, and then she beams. "Well, of course you can come with us!" Rose says, looking over to the Doctor, who nods his agreement.

Scarecrow looks delighted. "Oh, yes! We're off to see the Wizard!" he says, clambering up - slightly unsteadily - to his feet and set off down the yellow brick road. The Doctor smiles, pulling Rose up by the hand, and led her after Scarecrow, who is singing away to himself happily.


	2. A Cowardly Lion?

**The Wicked Witch is Dead**

thanks to all who reviewed! this is the second part, and the third part should  
>be up tomorrow night or monday at the latest. :) it looks like it's gonna be 4 parts!<br>for all those who are wondering, just out of interest or to place it in your mind,  
>i don't know exactly what time this took place in. originally, it was meant to be a<br>TenII/Rose-flashback but then i took the TenII out ... so it could either be late  
>season 2 or AU. it's up to you, it can fit in anywhere. enjoy this one!<p>

* * *

><p>They walked for a long time, the yellow brick road never seeming to shrink. They stop every so often to let Rose's feet have a rest - she is in high heels, after all. Scarecrow only falls over once every so often, and is kept amused by the Doctor's tales of Rose and his' adventures on other planets.<p>

"So - the Slitheen was Mayor of Cardiff all along!" Scarecrow says, as the Doctor nods, Rose beside him.

"Yep," the Doctor says, swinging Rose's hand gently. "She was planning to destroy the world and then flee."

Scarecrow gasps, as if he has never heard such a terrible thing. "Never!" he says, his eyes as wide as saucers.

Rose nods beside him. "We had to turn her into a baby to stop her from doing it."

Scarecrow sighs. "Wow, you guys have such exciting lives! And to think, I used to think excitement was harvest season," he says, and Rose and the Doctor shrug and smile.

Rose rubs her stomach. "Speaking of harvest season, I'm starving," she says. She looks ahead, squinting. "Apples!" she says, and it takes the Doctor a moment before he realises she is pointing at the trees.

"Rose - " he says, to warn her, but she's already off. Looking like a five year old, excited with a prospect of a treat, she runs up to the nearest tree. "They're ripe, right?" she says, looking at the glossy, red apples hanging down from the tree. She picks it off the stalk, and gets the shock of her life when the tree grows arms, snatches the apple off her, and slaps her hand. "Ouch!" she says loudly, clutching her hand, as the Doctor runs up to her.

"What happened?" he says, reaching for her hand. She points to the tree, which suddenly has a face.

"What do you think you're doing?" the tree asks grumpily, frowning.

Rose is almost indignant. "Listen, mate, we've been walking a long way and I'm hungry - wait, is the tree _talking_?" she adds, as if she has just remembered that trees shouldn't be talking.

"She was hungry!" the tree says, and another tree across the way huffs.

"Oooh, she was hungry, was she? Well, how would you like it if we came and picked something off of you?"

Scarecrow shakes his head. "Come along, Rose, Doctor. We don't want any of these stinking apples," he says, his tone disgusted.

"Are you suggesting my apples ain't what they supposed to be?" the tree asks, getting angrier and angrier.

"Oh, no," Scarecrow says, shaking his head. "She just doesn't like little green worms!"

The Doctor winces. "Don't think you should have said that," he says, and drops the apple in his hand and reaches slowly for the sonic.

With a roar, the tree makes a grab for Rose, who is pulled harshly out of the tree's grasp by the Doctor, who has his sonic screwdriver aimed directly at the tree's wrinkled face. Scarecrow pulls faces at the trees and runs away a little, just out of the tree's reach.

"What are you playing at?" the Doctor says, beckoning for Scarecrow to run further.

Scarecrow sighs at their slowness. "This is how you get apples," he says, pulling another face at the trees. Soon enough, they start to pelt the trio with apples, who try to catch as many as possible, picking up those which fall to the ground.

"Good plan!" the Doctor concedes, as Rose gets down on her hands and knees to follow a trail of apples that lead behind a bush. She picks up the two apples, but the third is leaning against a metal boot that reminds her eerily of a Cyberman. She straightens upright immediately, mouth open to alert the Doctor, but there is no need; she soon sees that this is no Cyberman.

The body of tin has a face, and is holding an axe. The body is rusty with disuse and a few plants have grown over it in time.

"Look, Doctor," Rose says, turning around to beckon over the Doctor, who was joking around with apples with Scarecrow, "It's a man made out of tin!"

The Doctor rushes over and knocks his knuckles against the Tin Man's arm; it is hollow.

"Looks a bit like a Cyberman," he says, and Rose laughs. The Doctor turns to her, frowning.

"That's what I thought at first, too," she says. Scarecrow brushes the Tin Man's shoulder, getting some of the plants off. A squeak is heard from the Tin Man, and Rose holds up an hand, to get the Doctor and Scarecrow to stop.

"Did - did you just say something?" she asks.

Another squeak is heard, that sounds vaguely like _moil man._

"I think he said oil can!" the Doctor says, and Scarecrow finds the oil can resting on a log. The can is as rusty and dirty as the Tin Man himself.

"Where should I oil first?" Rose says, looking the Tin Man up and down. Scarecrow takes the can off her.

"His mouth!" he says, and Rose admits that's a logical place to start. Scarecrow oils one side of his mouth and jaw and passes the can to Rose, who does the other side. It doesn't take long for the Tin Man to move his jaw side to side. Eventually, he rubs his lips together and tries to smile and speak.

"My - my goodness, I can talk again!" he says, and Rose beams and claps her hands together. "Oil my arms, could you please? Oh, oil my elbows."

Rose happily complies, doing one arm, before passing the can to the Doctor, who does the other one. The Tin Man moves his arms with a little help from Rose, sighing in pleasure.

"Does it hurt?" Rose asks, but the Tin Man just shakes his head.

"Oh, no," he says, "it feels wonderful. I've been holding up that axe for ages."

Rose rubs his elbow. "How did you get like this anyhow?"

The Tin Man turns to her, a tin eyebrow quirked, if a man of tin could quirk an eyebrow. "Well, about a year ago, I was out, chopping down that tree," he said, nodding to the tree beside them that sure enough, had hack marks in it. "And it started to pour down with rain, and in the middle of a chop, I rusted solid! And I've been that way ever since."

"Well," Rose says, oiling his neck, "You're perfect now."

"Perfect?" the Tin Man scoffs. "Perfect? Bang on my chest."

Rose does as she is told; like his arm, it is hollow.

"What an echo!" Scarecrow says, as though he is jealous.

"It is empty," Tin Man says. "The tinsman forgot to give me a heart."

"You don't have a heart?" Rose says.

"No heart," Tin Man confirms, sighing. He looks devastated, as though the lack of a heart has plagued him for many years. "Oh, if only I had a heart!" He takes some experimental steps, with the Doctor and Rose at his side, who had only done this a few hours ago with Scarecrow. Her stumbles backwards, landing on his backside.

"Alright, mate?" the Doctor asks, leaning over him, a look of concern over his face.

"Oh, I'm just a little rusty," he replies, and Rose smiles.

"Well," she says, as she gets the oil can out, "We were wondering why you wouldn't come with us to the Emerald City to ask the Wizard for a heart!"

Tin Man looks apprehensive. "But - what if the Wizard wouldn't give me one when we got there?"

"Oh, he would!" Rose reassures him, sitting down next to him. "He must! We've walked a bloody long way already and -"

Rose is cut off by a high pitched, evil cackle that they have already heard; the Wicked Witch of the West. Scarecrow and Tin Man panic, stumbling to their feet. Rose feels the Doctor's hand slip into hers and pull her tightly against him. They turn to the direction of the cackle, and they find her standing on a house.

"You call that long?" she says, cackling some more. "You've only just begun. Helping the little lady and her Doctor friend along, are you, gentlemen?" she asks, looking at Scarecrow and Tin Man in turn. They both look petrified as they stand against West. "Well, stay away from her! Or I'll stuff a mattress outta you!" she says, looking at Scarecrow. She turns to Tin Man, a scowl on her ugly face. "And you! I'll use you for a beehive! Oh, and hey you! Straw man!" she directs the last end of her sentence to Scarecrow. "Wanna play ball?" she asks, throwing a ball of fire at his feet. Luckily the Doctor pushes him out the way, and the Tin Man uses his hat to put out the flames.

Rose shrieks in shock, bending down to check Scarecrow is unharmed. West just cackles some more, clearly amused by the events. Still cackling, she grabs her broomstick and disappears in a puff of rancid orange smoke.

Rose, now reassured Scarecrow is indeed fine, just stares at the spot where West vanished. She feels the Doctor's hand slip into hers, but she doesn't take her eyes off the rooftop.

"I'm not afraid of her," Scarecrow says, sounding more confident than he looks. "I'll be seeing you two gets safely to the Wizard now, whether he gives me a brain or not. Stuff a mattress with me? Evil hag!" he says, shouting the last bit to thin air.

"Me too," Tin Man agrees. "I'll get you there. Make a beehive out of me … I'd like to see her try!"

"Oh, aren't you the best!" Rose says, smiling. "It's weird though, isn't it? I feel like I've known you two all my life. I couldn't have, though, could I?"

"I don't see how," Scarecrow says, matter-of-factly. "You weren't around when I was stuffed and stitched together - were you?"

Rose shakes her head sadly.

"Are we off then? To Oz?" the Doctor says, walking forwards a little, dragging Rose along by the hand; Rose knows just from his face and movements that he is getting somewhat impatient. Whether he is getting impatient to finally see who exactly the Wizard is or whether he is impatient to get off this planet is a mystery. All she knows is that he has itchy feet and wants to get moving.

(Sometimes it's like living with a toddler.)

"To Oz!" Scarecrow cries, skipping down the yellow brick road once more. Tin Man shakes his head and follows, and the Doctor and Rose laugh as they, hand-in-hand, follow their new-found friends.

* * *

><p>"Jesus, this ain't half creepy," Rose says, rubbing her arms as the foursome enter a forest. True, the forest was dark, dank and gloomy. The trees reached high into the air, and the movements of the animals were echoed by the trees.<p>

"You're telling me," the Doctor says, leading the way by pushing various bits of tree out the way. "Tin Man," he says, turning to his metal friend. "You know the forests, don't you? Reckon we'll bump into any wild animals on our little adventure?"

Tin Man just shrugs his shoulders. "We might."

Scarecrow gasps. "Ones that might eat straw?"

Tin Man sighs. "Maybe. But probably just lions and tigers and bears."

"Lions?" Rose asks, half scared, half confused. They were creatures of Earth …

"Tigers?" the Doctor says, and he looks at Rose, and she knows that he is thinking the same thing.

"And bears," Tin Man adds, but he seems more amused than scared.

"Oh, great," Rose says, and takes the Doctor's hand once more; carefully they plough their way through the dense undergrowth, Rose's head whipping around at the slightest sound, and all the while her grip was tightening on the Doctor's hand.

They were about halfway through when a roar was heard from behind a bush. Scarecrow jumped a mile in the air and ran back and hid behind a tree; Rose clutched onto the Doctor, who stood protectively in front of her; Tin Man, although he looked rather worried, stood his ground and held his axe up in the air threateningly.

A lion bounded out from behind the trees, although it's roar was much less impressive up close, where the echo wasn't as great. He bounded over logs and trees and Rose could see him standing on his hind legs. He jumped just before the Doctor and Rose, the former pulling the latter away behind a tree for protection.

Once the lion landed, Rose could see him upclose. He looked more human than lion; he had a human face, almost, but it was a rich caramel colour, with whiskers, a cat-like nose and long eyebrows. His fur was the same caramel colour as his face, and he had small, cat-like ears and a long tail.

Rose almost came out from behind the tree, but the Doctor stopped her, and she soon saw why; the lion rose menacingly onto it's hind legs again, roaring.

And put it's fists up.

"Put 'em up, put 'em up," the lion taunted, it's fists still up in a fighting position. Rose exchanged a glance with the Doctor, although she wasn't sure why she was so shocked; she'd already met a talking scarecrow, and man made out of tin, a good witch and a wicked witch. Why not add a talking lion with a fondness for Jackie Chan films to the group?

"Which one will I fight?" the lion seemed to ask itself. "Or I'll fight both of you at once! Oh, I'll fight you with one paw tied behind my back!" He thought to himself for a minute. "I'll fight you standing on one leg. I'll fight you with my eyes closed!" he walked over to Tin Man, who was shaking in fear. "Oh, raising an axe on me, eh? Sneaking up on me? Why?"

He snapped slightly at Tin Man.

Tin Man narrowed his eyes. "Oh, go away and leave us alone."

"Scared, are we?" Lion taunted. "How long do you stay fresh in your can?" He laughed at his own joke. "Get up and fight, you shivering junkyard!" He looked at Tin Man, fists still raised, and turned and went for Scarecrow. "Put your hands up, you lopsided bag of hay!"

Rose was ready to go out and defend her friends, but the Doctor still had her pinned to the tree. (Although, if she was honest, she wasn't complaining about this either.)

Scarecrow's face contorts into a frown. "Now that's getting personal."

"Yeah!" Tin Man voices his agreement. He looks at Scarecrow. "Get up and teach him a lesson."

"What's wrong with you teaching him?" Scarecrow asks, almost defensively.

"Well - I - I hardly know him!" Tin Man says.

The Doctor looked between Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion, and stepped out from behind the tree, Rose following close behind him.

"Listen, mate," the Doctor starts, holding out two hands as if this will alone protect him from the Lion. "I'm the Doctor, and - "

"And I'll get you anyways!" the Lion snaps, leaning forward towards the Doctor, who steps back not out of fright, but out of instinct. He reaches from the sonic screwdriver without taking his eyes of the creature. The Lion snaps his jaw a couple of times, and Rose loses it. She walks, not the slightest bit of fear in her step, and slaps the Lion right across the face. The Doctor winces as the sound of it echoes through the forest, and Scarecrow and Tin Man look decidedly more scared of Rose than they had been thirty seconds ago.

"How dare you?" Rose shouts, hands on her hips, looking for a second the splitting image of Jackie. (He'd never ever in all his regenerations tell her that, though.)

"Wha'd'ya do that for?" The Lion says, clutching a paw to his cheek. He almost looks like he was about to cry. "I didn't - I didn't bite him!" he says, his voice breaking slightly as he speaks. The Doctor stares in fascination as the Lion that once was about to chew his face off is left a blubbering mess in front of one Rose Marion Tyler.

"Yeah, but you would've if I hadn't slapped you!" she says, not breaking eye contact. "It's bad enough picking on a straw man! What's the matter with you?" she asks, fully demanding an answer.

"You didn't have to go and hit me though!" by this point, it's apparent that Lion is crying. Hard. He is fiddling with his tail, winding it around in his hands nervously, not unlike when the Doctor rubs the back of his neck, or pulls on his right ear. He stops, and puts a hand to his nose. "Is my nose bleeding?" he asks, pulling his hand away and inspecting it for blood.

"I didn't hit you that hard!" Rose cries, raising one eyebrow. Lion ignores her, using the fluffy end of his tail to wipe away tears. Rose huffs. "Christ, you're not making half a fuss over nothing, are you? You deserved it, you don't go around snapping at people. You're nothing but a big old coward!" Rose taunts, before Lion bursts into sobs; she shrinks back and casts a look at the Doctor; she thinks she might have gone too far with the last one.

"You're right!" Lion wails suddenly, and Rose bites her lip; she doesn't know whether she should run for the hills in fright that a Lion is crying, or throw her arms around him in sympathy. "I haven't any courage at all! I even scare myself!" Lion continues through his tears. "Look at the circles under my eyes! I haven't slept in weeks!"

Tin Man leans forward, a kind smile on his face. "Why don't you try counting sheep?"

Lion, if possible, cries even harder. "That's no use!" he hiccups. "I'm afraid of them!"

Rose and the Doctor exchange a glance - isn't counting sheep an Earth custom? - as Tin Man pulls back, looking shocked.

"That's too bad," Scarecrow says, as he taps Rose on the shoulder. She turns her head to look at him. "Don't you think the Wizard could help him, too?"

Rose exchanges another glance with the Doctor, who simply shrugs his shoulders in response. Helpful as always.

"I don't see why not," he says after a moment's pause. Rose beams at him before turning back around.

She smiles at Lion, who is still wringing his tail between his paws. "Listen, we're on our way to see the Wizard now, why don't you come with us? He's gonna give him a heart," she says, pointing to Tin Man, "him a brain," she continues, pointing to Scarecrow, "and he's gonna get me and the Doctor the part for our ship that we need to get home. I'm sure he'll give you courage, if you asked."

A smile almost lights up Lion's face, but he shuts it down before it can fully bloom. "But - wouldn't you feel degraded being seen with a cowardly Lion? I would," he says, looking down at the forest floor.

Rose shook her head, still smiling. "Nah, 'course not!" she says, reaching out and patting his furry arm in sympathy.

"Oh, gee ... that's ... awfully nice of you," Lion says, smiling at Rose's warm smile, which is replicated on the other three members of their party. "My life, it's been simply unbearable without any courage," he says, telling them all about how he couldn't scare anyone, which wasn't exactly helpful for a lion.

Scarecrow, Tin Man and the Doctor set off, Lion and Rose still talking; it didn't take long for them to catch up though, and Rose linked her hand with the Doctor's as they continued their adventure to Emerald City.


End file.
